


so...how's parenting going? vol. ii: the case of the missing wedding guest

by thealmightyavocado



Series: so...how's parenting going? [2]
Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Crack, Established Relationship, Fluff and Crack, Kid Fic, M/M, more toddler antics and sass
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-24
Updated: 2019-11-24
Packaged: 2021-02-18 07:16:33
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,664
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21540487
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thealmightyavocado/pseuds/thealmightyavocado
Summary: “Rory, my darling, that was before we had you.” Louis tries to explain as soothingly as possible.Rory blinks up at Louis in absolute confusion as his expression starts to pale. “…What?”“Papa and I got married before you were born, Ro.” Harry explains gently, sitting up on the couch.“But...but…but…” Rory mutters repeatedly on a loop as if he’s starting to glitch. He shakes his curls as a deep frown pulls his little brows together at a loss for what this means. There’s confusion in his eyes along with growing frustration that is sure to lead to a full-blown toddler meltdown. “Where is…ME!”Or three-year-old Rory just doesn’t understand why he wasn’t invited to his parents’ wedding.
Relationships: Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson
Series: so...how's parenting going? [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1510697
Comments: 60
Kudos: 441





	so...how's parenting going? vol. ii: the case of the missing wedding guest

**Author's Note:**

> hi lovelies!
> 
> so I'm back on my bullshit with another addition to this crack series lol thank you to all of you who read the first one and commented/left kudos/messaged me/laughed/etc, I appreciate it all so so much! I had just as much fun writing this one so I hope you all enjoy it! :))
> 
> also, for those of you waiting for my next real angsty fic, im working on it I proooomise! 
> 
> anyway! come have a laugh with me on tumblr @avocadolouie
> 
> love you all! 
> 
> lex. x

“You can’t catch me!” Rory squeals as his little legs take off, sprinting across the grass of their backyard. The three-year-old is an utter mess of uninhibited curls and ceaseless giggles, practically a blur as he darts back and forth across the yard.

“I’m coming for you, Ro!” Harry calls as he playfully chases after his son, although he must admit that he’s getting pretty tired. It was all fun and games at first but now they’ve been going at it for hours and yet the kid seems to house the energy of the Energizer Bunny, never ever getting tired.

Realizing this will never end unless he takes matters into his own hands, Harry drops himself to the ground, collapsing dramatically as he spreads out all four of his limbs in the grass. It something he does all the time with Rory and yet his son still falls for it every time. Harry isn’t quite sure why it works, but for some reason if he pretends to fall asleep right in the middle of playing, Rory flips out and stops everything to wake him up. It’s honestly the easiest, guaranteed way to catch his rambunctious toddler once play time has gone on for a bit too long.

As expected, Rory notices instantly, and Harry can hear his telltale gasp from all the way across the yard. “Oh no, Daddy! Don’t sleep! Nooo!”

Harry lies perfectly still, eyes closed as he pretends not to hear Rory’s calls. But it’s endearingly cute how concerned the little boy gets as he tumbles down to Harry’s side. And he has to try really hard not to start smiling when Rory pokes at his cheeks.

“Daaadddy! No sleeping! Wake up! Play with me! Pleaaase!” Rory shakes Harry before deciding to crawl on top of him, settling down on Harry’s chest. “Daddddyyy! Daddy! No, Daddy! Nooo!”

And it’s then that Harry pounces, trapping his son in his arms as he sits up. “Gotcha!”

Rory looks completely shocked as he always does, tiny lips parting with a gasp. But then his face splits into another fit of adorably happy giggles. “You tricked me!”

“I did!” Harry smiles, hugging him tighter. “I had too! You’re just too fast, little monster. How was I ever going to catch you?”

“I dunno.” Rory smiles back proudly. “Papa can catch me! He always does.”

“Does he?”

Rory nods his head. “Mhmm. You’re just slow, Daddy.”

“Oh, I’m slow, huh?” Harry attacks Rory with sweet butterfly kisses and soft tickles, loving all over him.

Rory lets out the cutest little dimpled laugh that threatens to make Harry’s entire heart burst. “Yes, slow! But I love you, so it’s ok.”

“Ok, I guess can live with that. As long as you love me.” Harry decides with a warm smile.

“I do! I love you, Daddy!” Rory promises sweetly, short arms wrapped around Harry’s neck.

“Not nearly as much as I love you.” Harry kisses his love to Rory’s rosy cheeks once more. “So since I’m so slow, how about we go inside and watch a movie?”

“Can I pick?”

“Of course you can pick, honey.”

“Then yes!”

“Wanna go see what Papa is up to first?”

“Oh! Yes!” Rory cheers happily, the idea of seeing Louis somehow even more exciting to him than the movie.

“Alright, off we go.” Harry stands up with Rory in his arms and hoists him up so that he’s sitting atop his shoulders. Harry holds on to Rory’s legs as they make their way back to the house.

When they walk into the living room, they find Louis cross-legged on the couch with his laptop propped between his legs, hard at work on his latest redesign project. He’s been zoned in on this project all day, trying to get the details just right before presenting to his client. Louis hadn’t even been home most of the day, running errands to different supply companies around town to find the perfect wood samples and paint swatches for his renovation. Harry had the day off so he’s been keeping their rambunctious son occupied so that his husband can work in peace.

“Papa, look at me!” Rory squeals from atop Harry’s shoulders the moment he sees Louis.

“Hmm?” Louis hums absently, concentrating on the screen.

 _“Look!”_ Rory urges again.

“What’s that, Ro?” Louis mumbles in question without looking up from his work.

“I’m tall like Daddy! See!”

Louis looks up through his reading glasses and the stress on his face seems to melt away when he sees Rory waving sweetly at him from Harry’s shoulders. He closes his laptop and stands up to greet them. “Aww Rory, you’re taller than me!”

“Sorry Lou, I didn’t want to bother you if you’re still busy.” Harry apologizes after Louis gives him a quick kiss hello. “He’s been asking for you since the second he woke up.”

“Papa, I missed you all day.” Rory leans down toward Louis, about to make a dangerous jump into his arms if Louis doesn’t grab him first.

Louis quickly takes Rory from Harry before he falls, balancing him on his hip. “You did? Well I missed you more, baby.”

“Nuh uh!” Rory argues, shaking his untamed curls. “Me! I did!”

“How much did you miss me?” Louis wonders with a teasing frown.

Rory holds his arms out as wide as he possibly can. “This much! That’s all of me!”

“Ooh, you missed me with _all_ of you?” Louis gasps in surprised awe.

Rory nods his head seriously.

“But I missed you with all of me too!” Louis tells him. “So what does that mean?”

“It means you gotta not work anymore.” Rory says, playing with the strings of Louis’ hoodie. “You gotta spend time with me now. I need you.”

“Ok, I can do that, Ro.” Louis pecks his nose and Rory absolutely beams, curling up against Louis’ chest.

“We were going to watch a movie, if you want to join us, babe.” Harry suggests.

“Oh I’d love to, H. I gotta hang out with my boys.” Louis slips his free hand around his husband’s waist, leaning into him. “What are we watching, RoRo?”

Rory rights himself back up and shrugs. “I dunno yet!”

“I promised him, he could pick the movie.” Harry says as turns on the TV and the Apple TV homebase appears on the screen, displaying their entire digital movie library.

They usually start there because most times the movie Rory wants to see is something that he’s watched a million and one times before. But if not then they move on to Netflix until he finally decides on something. Louis sets Rory down to the ground and Harry slowly begins scrolling through their Apple TV library waiting for their son to become inspired. Rory stares up at the screen, watching the various titles pass.

“Stop!” Rory gasps loudly, holding both of his hands in the air like the drama prince he is. “Daddy…are you…are you in a _movie_?”

Harry frowns, shaking his head. “Um no…”

Rory skips frantically over to the TV screen, face practically pressed against the console as he points up. “Then what’s that? It’s you! And Papa!”

In the far-right hand corner of the screen is a small thumbnail displaying a still from their wedding. Harry totally forgot that they uploaded it to their Apple TV library to watch at some point before their anniversary coming up.

“Oh, that’s our wedding video, love.” Louis tells their son.

Rory gasps again as though his little mind is utterly blown, looking from the TV to his parents. “It’s…it’s like? It’s a _real_ movie?”

“Well yeah, I guess it is.” Harry nods. It’s really more like a documentary if anything, but Rory will have no clue what that means anyway.

“I wanna see!” Rory decides instantly, sprinting back over to the couch.

“You want to see our wedding?”

Rory nods enthusiastically, green eyes as wide as ever. “Yes! Yes! Yes!”

Louis glances toward Harry and shrugs, seeming to think there’s no harm in him watching it.

“Alright. If that’s what you want to watch, Ro.”

“Yaaaaay!” Rory cheers, zooming around their living room because he couldn’t possibly contain all of his excitement. Anyone witnessing it would think they just promised him a trip to Disneyworld or something. But no, just a chance to watch his parents marry each other.

“Alright, enough running around, little monster.” Harry calls. “Come over here and settle down.”

The three of them get comfy and cozy on their L-shaped couch. Harry stretches out with Rory laying back on top of his chest, while Louis curls up against Harry’s side.

It starts out with two alternative views of Harry and Louis in their respective hotel suites getting ready. But what’s funny about it, or maybe not so funny to Harry, is that while Louis’ suite is the picture of calm and tranquility, Harry’s is just a high energy cocktail of chaos and pandemonium. And the entire thing is set to this romantic, soft piano music. The stark contrast between the two almost makes the intro to their wedding look more like a meme than anything else.

Louis starts laughing fondly. “Aww H, look how stressed you were.”

“Ok, what I don’t like about this is that there is literally no context given. I’m not stressed and freaking out for no reason.” Harry defends, frowning. “I thought I lost our rings, remember?”

They weren’t actually lost, Niall had them the whole time but neglected to tell Harry this in time which led to about an hour of pure panic. Panic that their lovely cinematographer decided to immortalize in their wedding video, much to Harry’s dismay.

“I would have been proper pissed about it if you had actually lost them. I worked really hard for those rings.”

Harry smirks. “Remember when you proposed to me with a candy Ring Pop?”

“Remember when you said yes?” Louis throws back.

Harry grins but nods fondly. He can pretend to tease Louis about it all he wants but it was actually one of the sweetest moments of his life, and he wouldn’t change a single thing about it.

When it comes to the actual ceremony, Harry can’t help but sniffle as Louis recites his vows. It’s an improvement from the on-screen version of him who is sobbing, practically drowning in his own tears.

“Aww babe, are you getting misty?” Louis teases, poking gently at Harry’s side. “That’s so sweet.”

“Leave me alone.” Harry sniffles again, lifting one of his sleeves to wipe under his wet eyes. “It still gets me, ok? Is it a crime to love my husband?”

“Even after all these years.” Louis smiles, pressing a kiss to Harry’s shoulder. “You’re so cute, H.”

Harry glances down at his husband and finds that he’s teary too, head buried against his shoulder. “Wow, look at you bawling your eyes out! Hypocrite!”

“I never said I wasn’t crying!” Louis dabs at his leaking eyes. “I always cry watching you promise to love me forever.”

“I really will love you forever, baby.”

“I know you will and that’s why I’m crying!” Louis blubbers, snuggling his body even closer to Harry’s side.

Rory doesn’t even pay his parents and their emotional state any mind, instead his attention is fixated on their younger selves on the screen. He is absolutely mesmerized by the entire thing, eyes glued to the TV in fascination as the wedding plays out. He doesn’t utter a single word as the ceremony transitions into the highlights from their reception. There are celebratory speeches from the wedding party and precious moments of Harry and Louis feeding each other cake looking absolutely lost in their own world. And of course, there is plenty of footage of Harry and Louis making absolute fools of themselves on the dance floor, but in a cute way. At least Harry would like to think so.

When the video ends, Rory sits for a moment just staring at the blank screen before turning back to his parents curiously. “I don’t ‘member it…”

“You don’t remember what, love?” Louis inclines his head toward him.

“That.” Rory points to the now blank TV screen, brows still furrowed as he tries to make sense of it. “I don’t ‘member...”

Harry ruffles his son’s floppy hair gently. “That’s because you weren’t there, RoRo.”

“ _What_!” Rory gasps outright, bolting straight up in complete offense. He completely jumps off the couch only to spin around toward his parents in accusation. “Where…? Where is me?”

“Where was I, you mean.” Harry corrects.

“No, me!” Rory points back to himself. “Where is _me_!”

“Rory, my darling, that was before we had you.” Louis tries to explain as soothingly as possible.

Rory blinks up at Louis in absolute confusion as his expression starts to pale. “…What?”

“Papa and I got married before you were born, Ro.” Harry explains gently, sitting up on the couch.

“But...but…but…” Rory mutters repeatedly on a loop as if he’s starting to glitch. He shakes his curls as a deep frown pulls his little brows together at a loss for what this means. There’s confusion in his eyes along with growing frustration that is sure to lead to a full-blown toddler meltdown. “Where is…ME!”

And before Harry and Louis can even attempt to diffuse the situation, the tears make an unsurprising appearance, fresh saltwater welling up under Rory’s eyes just waiting to fall. It’s like he just can’t conceptualize a time where he didn’t exist and that his parents would have lived without him. Honestly Harry is starting to forget what life was like before this little boy came storming into their life with all of his emotions and antics.

Several tears roll down his cheeks as Rory heartbrokenly looks back up at his parents in absolute betrayal. His tiny lips start to quiver as his emotions get the best of him. “Did…d-did you forgetted me?”

“Oh no, of course not, RoRo.” Louis rubs his son’s back reassuringly.

“Then why! Why I not there! Why you not invited me!” Rory continues to cry. “I’d be there if you told me! I’m not that busy.” 

“Oh sweetheart, I know you would have come if you could, but you weren’t born yet.”

“How?” Rory sniffles, tears still pooling under his eyes.

“You weren’t alive yet.” Harry repeats gently, hoping that somehow something starts to click in that three-year-old brain of his.

“Yes, I am alive! Right now! See!” He spreads his small arms out in demonstration, as living proof of his existence. “I’m alive! I’m _real_!”

“Yes, you are very real, honey. But this was six years ago, and you are only three years old.”

Rory blinks back at him as if that doesn’t matter or make any sense. “So...”

“So this was three years before you were born, love.” Louis tries explaining again.

Rory stares off into the distance for a moment, mouth slightly open. He’s having a crisis, a clear crisis. The math is just not computing, and this is all escalating far too quickly. Harry can’t quite blame the poor child. How would it compute when he barely knows what numbers are at this stage of life? He has no real concept of time, so of course this is breaking his little world.

“But…but why is Daddy there and not me!” Rory retorts next, growing frustrated again.

“Rory, it was _my_ wedding.” Harry answers obviously. “I had to be there.”

“So! You’re my Daddy! I gotta be there too!” Rory insists and the logic is…all kinds of flawed, but still Harry can only feel for him.

“I’m older than you.”

“How?” Rory questions boldly.

Harry blinks down at his kid, taken aback by the question. “What do you mean how?”

Rory continues to frown up at him with his arms crossed over his chest. “ _How_ are you older?”

“Well, I’m thirty and you are three.”

“But...they both three…” Rory argues, seeming to be waiting for Harry to make a better point, completely sure of himself.

Harry shakes his head regretfully. “No honey, no.”

“But _why_!”

“It’s just how it works, Ro.” Harry tries to explain. “I’ve been living longer than you have and—”

“No. No Daddy that’s—no!”

“No, what? I’m not lying to you—”

“No—ok. Ok. What. Ever, Daddy!” Rory snaps suddenly in toddler frustration, little hand on his hip. He says it in a way that suggests he doesn’t actually know what he’s saying or why he’s saying it, mimicking something he’s probably heard one of them say in conversation.

“Forrest, don’t be rude to Daddy.” Louis admonishes with a shake of his head.

“But! He not invited me!” Rory argues. “That’s rude!” 

“Rory, I—”

But Harry is cut off yet again by the frantic ramblings of a toddler. “You invited Auntie Gemma! And…and Uncle Liam! And Nana! And Uncle whoever that guy is—and…and— and everyone! Everyone but _me_!”

“Why do you think it was me that didn’t invite you?” Harry wonders next, feeling a little offended. “Why couldn’t it have been Papa?”

Rory suddenly shifts his wide-eyed attention to Louis, thinking this over seriously. “It was you? You not want me there, Papa?” His little voice sounds utterly betrayed, near tears yet again. “Why? Don’t you love me?”

Louis gives Harry a look, a stern _I’ll kill you_ look, before pulling the three-year-old into his lap and hugging him close, both arms clasped around his small frame as though he’s protecting him from every bad thing in the world. “Oh no, of course I wanted you there, my sweet boy. I love you so, sooo much. Daddy is such a meanie. I swear you would have been there if it was up to _me.”_

“I knewed it.” Rory frowns angrily at Harry from Louis’ lap, arms resting comfortably over Louis’ as he snuggles up against him. “You wanted me there, huh Papa?”

“Oh yes baby, I really wanted you there.” Louis dotes affectionately on their son, kissing his temple several times as he continues to rock him close.

Harry can only sigh heavily as Louis smirks happily at him over their son’s shoulder. He should have never even tried to turn it on Louis, knowing just how trusting their son is and how easy Louis can sway him onto his side. Harry swears Louis has that boy wrapped around his finger.

Rory tilts his head up at Louis. “Papa, promise I can come next time.”

“What next time, Ro?”

“Next time you get married.” Rory answers obviously with a serious face.

“Rory, we are _already_ married.” Harry tries again, with another sigh.

“But…next time!” Rory insist adamantly. “Promise!”

“Ok yes I promise, love. I promise.” Louis nods kissing him several more times on his cheek.

Rory focuses his gaze on Harry again. “You too, Daddy!”

“Yeah, I promise, Ro.”

“Pinky promise!” Rory urges, eyes wide with his hand outstretched towards Harry.

Harry takes his son’s hand and brings it up to his lips. “Alright, I pinky promise, sweetheart.”

“Good.” Rory decides, seeming somewhat satisfied as he relaxes back against Louis’ chest. But the peace lasts all of one single second. “Now when is it?” 

Harry narrows his eyes, knowing in his gut that this issue is still far from laid to rest. “When is what, honey?”

“The _wedding_!” Rory exclaims as though it’s all to obvious. “I wanna know when so I not miss it this time.”

“Forrest, my love, I don’t think you’re understanding.” Louis runs his fingers through the little boy’s curls soothingly. “Daddy and I are already married. We’ve been married for six whole years now. So...we are done. It’s over, it’s finished. We can have anniversaries and parties to celebrate it, but our actual wedding is over now. Does that make sense?” 

“So…I can not never be there…” Rory starts getting teary yet again, his big eyes somehow widening even more. “I just wanna be there, Papa! I wanna see it!”

“I know love, I’m sorry.” Louis rocks softly him a bit more.

And then he’s full on crying, approaching the tantrum stage of frustration. The emotions are always running high with him, and at his age it doesn’t take too much to set him off.

Louis and Harry give each other a look, exchanging silent parent glances because they each know exactly what is coming next.

“It’s ok, RoRo—”

“No! No! It’s not ok!” He sobs, shaking his head repeatedly as he gets more worked up. “I…I…I….”

But he doesn’t even finish his own thought. Instead, Rory dramatically slides and squirms his little body out of Louis’s arms, climbing completely off the couch.

“Ro, where are you going?” Harry wonders as he watches his son in confusion.

“I’m mad at you!” Rory cries, his face turning all shades of red.

“But why, baby?”

“Cuz…cuz—you won’t letted me be at your wedding!” Rory bawls emotionally. “And I’m mad!”

“Aww Rory.” Harry coos at his fussy son, trying to console him.

“No! No, ‘aww Rory’! I’m mad, Daddy!” He stomps his little feet defiantly, crossing his arms over his chest. “I’m _mad_!”

“Ok, honey. You can be mad.”

Rory huffs and starts raging off towards his room. Before coming back two seconds later with the same expression. “But I’m sad too! Just so you know! I’m very sad!” He scowls almost comically, narrowing his eyes before storming off in a fuss once again.

Louis sighs, sinking back against the couch cushions. “You know H, when we got married, I never thought that one day, years down the road I’d be sat trying to explain to our son why he wasn’t invited to our wedding. It’s quite an experience. It’s like I let him down before even meeting him.”

“Well…knowing our son, we should have anticipated this the moment he said he wanted to watch our wedding video.”

“Fair.” Louis nods agreeably. “There was no way out of it.”

“If only we could time travel.” Harry sighs, sinking back against the couch at Louis’ side. “How long do you think he’ll be mad at us?”

“Mad at you more like, because _you_ didn’t invite him.” Louis smirks, seeming to find it all so amusing.

Harry picks up one of their decorative throw pillows and whacks Louis over the head. “Fuck you.”

Louis breaks into a fit of cackles. “You brought it upon yourself, darling.”

“No, I really didn’t!” Harry argues, whacking Louis once more for good measure. “He assumed it was me first. For literally no reason!”

“That’s because my baby boy knows I’d never do that to him.” Louis boasts, smiling proudly. “Forrest is my baby and my baby only.”

Harry gasps dramatically, hand to his chest. “Are you insinuating that you are his favorite?”

“Well...” Louis shrugs coyly. “If I recall he’s not particularly mad at me right now, is he?”

“How is it that you can do no wrong with him, but everything I do offends him on some level? He just got mad at me for being at _my_ own wedding.”

“Because I’m me.” Louis smiles sweetly before crawling across the couch to drop himself on his husband’s lap. “Better luck next time around.”

Harry laughs warmly. “Next time as in our next kid?”

“Yeah. You gotta win them over quick, H.” Louis explains thoughtfully. “I knew Rory was forever my baby from the very second I looked into his big, beautiful green eyes.”

“And how did you know that?”

“Do you want the real answer, love?”

“Yes, please.”

“Because he’s you.” Louis answers simply, one hand toying softly at his husband’s curls. “And I know exactly how to deal with you. My original baby.”

Harry can’t help but go a little soft at that. “Seems a bit like an unfair advantage.”

“Sometimes he’s so much like you in how he thinks or acts that I start to consider that maybe he’s actually you reincarnated or that you cloned yourself. Either way, what I know about you both is that all you really want is my attention.”

“That’s true actually.” Harry confirms.

“Oh, I know.” Louis smirks. “I think you both are probably far too similar that you will always butt heads from time to time. I can’t fucking wait till he’s a teenager. That’s gonna be fun.”

Harry sighs heavily, briefly imagining how feisty a teenage version of Rory will be. “Fun for you maybe.”

“Oh, sooo much fun for me.” Louis grins widely.

“We need another baby to even this up. Our household is far too uneven right now. I can never win, I need one on my team.”

“Or maybe I’ll win over our next one too and it can be three against one.”

“Don’t even say that.” Harry pouts. “Fine, I’ll let you have the next one just to make it fair. But Number Three is up for grabs.”

“Deal.” Harry grins with a wink. “So any guesses on when your dear sweet baby will stop being mad?”

 _“_ Mmm who knows. It could be two minutes. It could be all week. It’s all up to chance with that boy.”

“I feel for the kid. He basically just had an existential crisis. He doesn’t understand the limits of his own lifespan.”

“My poor baby.” Louis sympathizes, glancing back towards the hall Rory ran off to. “We should do something to cheer him up.”

“The only thing that would cheer him up is us getting married.”

Louis pauses for a moment before meeting Harry’s gaze. “So, let’s get married.”

Harry raises an eyebrow. “Again?”

“Yeah why not, love? Right here, today. Just the three of us.”

“Rory could marry us.” Harry suggests.

“Oh, he’d love that.” Louis smiles softly. “I’ll even let you tell him so you can be redeemed in his eyes.”

Harry laughs, shaking his head. “Knowing him, he’ll probably still find something to be mad at me for.”

“Well, at least you can say you tried.”

💍

“Knock, knock.” Louis calls as he and Harry peek their heads into Rory’s open bedroom door.

“Papa, I’m still mad, ok.” Rory says. His arms are crossed tightly over his body as he lies flat on his bed staring up at the ceiling. It looks as though he’s been lying there festering in his overdramatic anger this whole time. “You said when I’m mad I gotta think to myself. So I’m thinking.”

“Well Ro, Daddy and I were thinking too, and we had an idea.” Louis tells him as they cautiously move into the room.

He gradually sits up on his bed, still frowning heavily. “What is it?”

“We know how much you wanted to be there for our wedding.” Harry starts slowly. “And um…we’re really sorry we got married before you were born.”

Louis holds back a laugh, biting down on his lower lip to keep his face straight and Harry has to try really hard not to break with him.

“It really hurted my feelings.” Rory answers seriously with wide sad eyes. “It just wasn’t nice that you forgetted me.”

“I know, RoRo. I’m really sorry.” Harry nods in sympathy as he sits down next to his son. “So to make up for it, we thought that maybe Papa and I could have another wedding today and you could marry us.”

Rory looks like he’s been given the news of his life. His eyes light up to a nearly animated degree. “Really?” 

“Yeah, really!” Harry confirms with a wide smile. “Does that sound ok?”

“Yes!” Rory immediately jumps up off the bed with new determination and focus. “I gotta get ready!” He freezes suddenly and directs his attention back to his parents. “You gotta get ready too! You gotta look as pretty as the movie! You don’t….” He looks directly at Harry judgmentally with his arms crossed like only a toddler can. “You don’t look right...”

“Oh wow, thanks for that, Rory.” Harry nods with a sigh. “Thank you _so_ much.”

“Daddy, you gotta get your hair to grow right now! It’s too short.” Rory decides next, picking Harry completely apart.

“Ro, I—”

“And Papa you gotta fix the hair on your face. It’s not right.”

“Um ok, wow.” 

“Hmm.” Rory narrows his eyes up at Harry again. “And you look tired.”

“I look _tired_?” Harry gasps in utter offense. Well duh he looks fucking tired, he’s no longer getting a full night’s sleep thanks to this little kid. He’s been up chasing after him since the ass crack of dawn this morning.

“Yes. Not pretty like the movie.”

 _“Excuse_ me?” Harry blurts, jaw dropping slightly.

“Go get pretty please!” Rory starts physically pushing them out of his room in haste. “Fix it!”

Once Rory has successfully shooed them out of his room, Harry just stands uselessly in the hallway processing. “Ok…uh, why do I feel so insulted by our son?”

“He kinda just roasted us.” Louis agrees, blowing out a long stream of air. “You mainly.” 

“I’m a little hurt.” Harry’s frown deepens as he dwells on it more. “No, maybe I’m more than a little hurt—Lou, do I look tired? Honestly. Just tell me the truth, ok. Husband to husband.”

“No, you’re gorgeous, Harry. Absolutely gorgeous.” Louis answers instantly, gently cupping his husband’s face to plant a deep kiss to his lips. “I swear you’re even hotter than the day I met you.”

Harry smiles against Louis’ lips, pulling him in closer by his waist. “You’re lying to me and I love you for it.”

“I’m not lying, baby.” Louis shakes his head slowly, tracing the sides of Harry’s face. “You’re so hot I might just fuck around and marry you. The love of my fucking life.”

“I can’t _believe_ we are getting married.” Harry teases. “This is all happening so fast. We’ve only known each other for a short eight years.”

“Talk about a whirlwind romance. What will our parents think? Rushing into marriage like this. God, the scandal of it all.”

“And, we’ve got a baby? Out of wedlock? We’re so irresponsible.”

“Even got joint checking accounts and a mortgage.”

“Absolutely ridiculous.” Harry tuts with a smile. “Should we get a prenup or something?”

“Nah baby.” Louis cradles his husband’s head. “You’re a forever kind of thing.”

“Mmm I love you.” Harry hums happily against Louis’ lips. “My forever thing.”

💍

There’s unfortunately not much Harry can do to magically grow his hair out to the length it was when they first got married, but Louis does shave down to a bare face, looking very much like his wedding day self. Harry swears to god that his husband is immune to time, seeming to never age. Louis can go from full fledged adult to teenager with only a razor and it’s absolutely sorcerous to say the least.

“Hmm…” Louis hums to himself, holding up the hanger out in front of his body. He stands in front of the mirror in their walk-in closet, skeptically eyeing the garment in his hand.

“What is it?” Harry asks over his bare shoulder as he zips up the fly on his trousers.

“It just…it looks smaller than I remember…”

“Your tux?”

Louis nods in consideration. “Yeah, I mean…look at it…”

“It looks like your size, Lou. You’re not that big of a person, you know this…”

“Fucking wanker.” Louis playfully shoves his husband’s shoulder. “Ok…but seriously, H. I’m a bit scared now. What if my tux doesn’t fit my ass anymore? I can’t deal with that, I’ll have a full breakdown on my second wedding day.”

“It’ll be fine, Lou.” Harry circles his arms around Louis’ waist from behind, chin rested on the top of his shoulder. “I mean look at you, you’re so fucking fit.”

“I can’t have Rory calling me fat. My self-esteem can’t take that three-year-old honesty right now. Children have absolutely no filters, we’ve seen that already today.”

“So I _do_ look tired?!” Harry gasps in horrid realization, hands flying up to touch his face self-consciously. He bolts out of the closet over to the bathroom mirror to examine himself further. “Oh my _goooood_.” He groans at himself, pinching under his eyes and pulling at his cheeks.

Louis immediately follows after him to the bathroom. “No baby, _no_.”

“Looouuuis, I’m aging!” Harry groans in panic. “Look at the fucking bags under my eyes! Those weren’t there before!”

“Stop it.” Louis pulls Harry’s hands from his face, pressing his lips to each of his palms. “You don’t look a day over twenty-three and you know it.”

“Really?” Harry pouts worriedly.

“Yes really, love. When you start aging, I’ll be the first one to tell you I promise. Husband to Husband.” Louis says in their special promising agreement.

“Ok, but let me down easy please.”

“Of course, love. You won’t even feel the blow, I’ll be so gentle.”

Harry exhales slowly, nodding his head. “Ok.”

“Ok.” Louis reassuringly kisses his husband twice more. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got a few prayers to send up as I try these fucking trousers on.”

Harry laughs lightly. “Wait, where are you going?”

“I’m just gonna change in the closet…you know…just in case…”

“Just in case what, Lou? I’ve seen it all, babe. There’s literally no part of you I’m not intimately familiar with.”

“Ok, but some things can’t be unseen. And if this is ugly, I don’t want you to remember my wedding tux like this.”

“Nothing will ever make me forget how you looked on our wedding day, baby.” Harry promises devotedly. “An absolute vision. I swear you stopped my heart that day.”

“Good, well just picture that image and hope that nothing has changed.” Louis says as he barricades himself in their walk-in closet.

Harry gives his husband a few minutes to himself before leaning against the closet door to check in on him. “How’s it going in there, babe?”

“I haven’t taken my trousers off the hanger yet. I’m just kinda, like…staring at them…” Louis describes through the door. “Wondering if all this can fit in that…”

“Louis, baby I swear your body is perfect…” Harry praises, beyond ready to fall down and worship his husband all night. “You work out every morning, you’re in the best shape of your life.”

“It’s like? I know all that in theory H, but…still…six years, fucking hell…” Louis sighs again. “This fabric has literally no give to it, you know what I mean? Fucking scary, that.”

“It’s Tom Ford so.”

“Exactly Harry. Exactly.”

“If you don’t put it on, I’m going to bring Rory in here to motivate you.” Harry teases knowingly. “I know how much you love your little baby.”

“Please. Do. _Not_.” Louis stresses through the door. “Alright here I go, H. if it doesn’t fit, please say something about how hot I used to be at my funeral, for old times’ sake.”

“You get more dramatic by the year, I swear to god.”

Louis cracks the door open only to stick his arm out with his middle finger extended. “This is a big moment, Harry! The moment I learn if I’ve still got it or not. Have some fucking respect please.”

Harry shoves Louis’ hand back into the closet. “Stop playing games and put the damn thing on, Lou. Rip off the band aid and do it! You’ve got this.”

It’s quiet for a moment, almost too quiet and Harry wonders if Louis has finally put them on, but he doesn’t have to wonder for long.

“Oh my _GOD_!” Louis shrieks suddenly and it’s impossible to tell if it’s a good _oh my god_ or a bad _oh my god_.

“What!?” Harry leans in closer to the door, holding his breath. “How does it look?”

“It fucking fits!” Louis jumps out of the closet proudly. He’s still shirtless, only wearing the fitted trousers that do wonders for his already incredible ass.

“That’s my boy.” Harry smiles in complete awe. “Baby, you look incredible. Dare I say you look even better in it now.” 

“Maybe all that chasing around that kid has really added to my figure.”

“Fuck yeah it has…” Harry bites his lower lip as he looks Louis over, he doesn’t even want Louis to bother putting the rest of his tux on. Harry places one kiss to Louis’ naked chest, but then can’t seem to stop himself from trailing kisses down his abdomen until he’s on his knees adoring his absolute favorite, softest part of his husband. “Can’t wait to take it off of you and have you all to myself on our wedding night.”

Louis giggles, eyes crinkling as Harry tenderly kisses on his belly. “Ooh our second wedding night, that’s quite exciting.”

“Mm wait a minute—actually no, I don’t think I can.” Harry looks up from his knees, cheek resting against Louis’ stomach. “I need to go to sleep early and get my beauty rest. I’ve been told I look tired so.”

“You’re beautiful.” Louis promises earnestly, caressing Harry’s cheeks with both of his hands. “The most beautiful man. Bags, dark circles and all. And honestly, I don’t fucking care what you look like, I just want to get laid on my wedding night.” 

That gets Harry to bark out a loud laugh making him unsteady on his knees, nearly toppling them both over.

Louis smiles, seeming proud that he got his husband to laugh. He slides his fingers into Harry’s hair, massaging his scalp in that way that Harry loves. “What if I said my wedding gift to you is a trip to the spa. A full package so you can relax and be pampered.”

“I’d say you spoil me.”

“Oh, but I love spoiling you, darling.”

Harry grins happily, dropping another series of warm kisses to the soft skin of Louis’ tummy, loving how it easily it gives his husband goosebumps. “Come with me, we can make a weekend of it. I’ll get Gemma to watch Rory for us. She owes us from last time.”

Actually, she owes them big time. No, she owes them _several_ times over. One kid with Styles’ DNA is enough, but having a total of four of them running around for five whole days nearly made Harry and Louis want to quit. Not just parenting, but life itself.

“So what do you say, soon to be second husband of mine?” Harry wonders, lifting his head up towards Louis again as he holds onto his hips.

“I say a second mini honeymoon with you sounds lovely.” Louis smiles slowly and Harry already knows what he’s about to say next. “…as long as I get properly laid.”

“I’m all over it, baby.” Harry laughs.

💍

“Aww you look so cute, little monster.” Harry gushes when they find Rory all dressed up in their living room. A living room Rory has somehow converted into a wedding venue. “You put that on all by yourself?”

“Yes.” Rory nods proudly, doing a little spin in his suit. He’s only wore it once since last Christmas and he’s about to grow out of it so at least they are getting one more use out of it before it’s laid to rest with the other half of Rory’s closet. It’s so hard keeping him clothed when it seems like he’s a new size every other day.

“Proper handsome, Rory.” Louis kneels down to his level to adjust his dress shirt. “Here let me fix your tie and tuck you in.”

“Papa, I think you’re very pretty.” Rory tells him thoughtfully. “You look like a prince.”

“Aww thank you, sweetheart.” Louis beams back at his son. “Daddy helped me get ready.”

“Daddy.” Rory calls slowly, assessing his outfit with a critical toddler eye. And Harry doesn’t know why he feels so fucking nervous about what this little kid is about to say to him next. “…you look pretty too.”

“Oh thank god…” Harry exhales under his breath in relief. The amount of stock he places in a three-year old’s opinion is probably ridiculous. “Thank you, Ro.”

“I wish you had long hair but…” Rory sighs to himself. “Oh well.”

And there it is. Honestly, what does this child expect him to do at this point? Grow shoulder length hair in two hours’ time? Louis visibly holds back a laugh as he finishes up with Rory’s outfit, glancing over at Harry knowingly with a smirk. To which Harry flips his husband off right behind their son’s back.

“So Ro, who have you invited to our wedding? They’re all here for us?” Louis asks next as he gestures to the rows of various stuffed animals in line to witness their union. Rory even lined them up so that there is a clear makeshift aisle leading up to an alter crafted of pillows at the front of their living room. It’s pretty impressive, Harry must admit.

“Everyone!” Rory answers simply. “Everyone is invited! It’s _rude_ to not invite people...” He glances up at Harry as he says it and the three-year-old shade is palpable. It is without a doubt a pointed jab at Harry, who Rory clearly still blames for his lack of an invitation to their original wedding. Obviously, they are not moving past this any time soon.

“It’s so lovely, darling.” Louis kisses Rory’s cheek, before standing up to his feet. “Do you need anything else?”

“Hmm.” Rory looks around the room, clearly trying to copy exactly what he saw in their wedding video. “There’s gotta be music. It not right with no songs.”

Harry turns on a playlist from his phone with all the soft songs that remind him of Louis, it plays wirelessly through the speakers arranged throughout their living room. “How’s that, Ro?”

“Perfect!” Rory then grabs each of their hands and rearranges his parents around the room to the right spots. “Papa you stay there and Daddy you be there.” 

“Oh my god, he’s so cute, isn’t he?” Louis whispers to Harry as they watch their son finish orchestrating the wedding arrangements. “I feel like we should be recording this or something.”

“I totally would, but he will probably get mad if I move.” Harry whispers back jokingly, but also partially serious.

“’Cuse me!” Rory clears his throat, little voice carrying above the music. “You gotta be quiet! I’m gonna start the wedding now!”

Harry gives Louis a look that clearly says _I told you so_ and all Louis can do is grin fondly.

“We’re sorry, sweetheart.” Louis apologizes. “Please go ahead.”

“Thank you.” Rory nods, but then frowns at them. “No. Wait.”

“What’s wrong, honey?”

“You gotta tooken the rings off.” Rory realizes. “It’s not real if you got them already.”

“Oh.” Harry looks down at his left hand and slides the platinum band off, instantly feeling naked without it.

Louis does the same and hands his over to Rory. “Ok, be careful with them, love.”

“I will! I swear!” He tucks them safely into his small pocket and pats his little hand over it twice. “Ok, I’m ready now!”

“Go for it, RoRo.” Louis encourages gently.

“So!” Rory claps his small hands as he begins to address his numerous guests. “We’re here for The Daddy and Papa wedding! Yay!”

The fondest smiles both creep onto Harry and Louis faces because as pointless as all this is, it’s still the sweetest thing ever.

“My name is Rory and Daddy and Papa are um…well they are my Daddy and Papa.” He explains redundantly but adorably. “I love them very, very much, a lot and I’m very, very happy they’re getting married by me so I can see it!”

“We love you too, baby.” Louis gushes, eyes soft and warm.

“So much.” Harry continues just as softly. “And we’re so happy you get to marry us.”

Rory beams, all baby teeth and dimples. “So…I not really know what to say so I drawed you a picture instead. It tooken me a very long time. But I hope you like it.”

The picture is drawn in a rainbow of different crayons and depicts the three of them, as stick people of course, all dressed in what looks like suits. Even as cartoon stick people they look like such a happy loving family, holding hands and smiling. There are cute little lopsided hearts everywhere in all different colors and Harry is probably going to get some of those hearts tattooed on him, that’s how much it means to him.

Louis looks like he’s two seconds from crying over the drawing, looking at it like it’s made of pure gold. “RoRo…this is so beautiful, baby.”

“I love it so much.” Harry sniffles emotionally. “We’ll hang it somewhere special, right Lou?”

Louis nods repeatedly. “Yes, we can frame it and everything.”

“Yay! Ok, so now the time for talk.” Rory announces cutely, moving things right along. “Daddy, please say all nice things you like about Papa.”

“Well Papa is my best friend. He’s very kind and sweet. He makes me laugh all the time. I like that he packs my lunch for work every day and writes me little notes on napkins. I like that he always listens to me and makes me feel better if I’m sad. He always takes care me and you no matter what. He’s such a good father.”

Rory nods in complete agreement. “Yes. He is the bestest.”

“Thank you, love.” Louis leans to kiss Harry out of habit and Harry meets him halfway.

“No kissing!” Rory snaps, pushing them apart. “Not yet! You’re not married!”

Louis makes his signature yikes face. “Oops, I’m sorry.”

“It’s ok. But now it’s your turn, Papa. Say nice pretty things you like about Daddy.”

“Right.” Louis nods before facing Harry. “Daddy is my favorite adult person. He makes me so, so happy. He’s very supportive and he’s always there for me when I need him. He’s got such a big, caring heart. I like that he always knows exactly what to say to help me, he never ever lets me down. I don’t think I’d be where I am today without him.”

Rory looks back at Harry expectantly. “Why aren’t you crying!”

“What?” Harry blinks in confusion.

“You cried in the movie and now you not!” Rory holds his hands up at him in dismay. “Daddy cry! Papa loves you! _Cry_!”

Harry wants to tell his child that these aren’t actual wedding vows, they’re nice sweet compliments that Louis tells him on a daily basis. Obviously, he cried uncontrollably at his real wedding, Louis’ vows were so incredibly thought out and beautifully personal. His husband’s initial vows were so moving, Harry couldn’t stop himself from crying earlier just hearing them again.

“But Papa was crying too in the video.” Harry argues. “Why aren’t you telling him to cry?”

“Papa will cry when he’s ready. Don’t rush him.” Rory defends protectively.

Louis has to bit back his laughter, holding a hand over his mouth. He makes eye contact with Harry and nearly loses it.

“Well.” Rory says impatiently as he looks up at Harry, tapping his little foot. “Papa can you say more nice things to Daddy so he can cry please?”

“Of course, I can.” Louis agrees easily, holding back more laughter. “I could say nice things about Daddy all day. Daddy is so smart and witty, he’s the most brilliant man I know. He’s very silly and he always tells me loads of jokes just to make me smile. He makes the best tea every night for me and I don’t even have to ask him. And he’s gorgeous, isn’t Daddy so gorgeous, Rory?”

“Yeah, I guess so.” Rory nods slowly as he observes Harry.

Harry starts fake weeping just to appease their son, holding both hands over his face. But honestly, he wants to start crying for real because all fucking day his son has been attacking him from all angles. All he can do is hope to god that this is just a phase and next week he’ll stop critiquing his every fucking move.

“Ok good. Was that so hard, Daddy?” Rory questions and Harry can _not_ believe the level of sass coming from this child. Was he this sassy as a kid? He really should consult his mum about this. “Now I gotta ask you stuffs.”

“Ask away, Rory.” Louis encourages.

“First you gotta hold hands.”

“Ok.” Louis takes both of Harry’s hands in his own.

“Now, Daddy…” Rory looks up at him seriously like he’s concentrating really hard. “Do you wanna marry, Papa?”

“Yes.” Harry nods.

“Forever?”

“Yes.”

“And are you sure? Like really, really, really, _really_ sure?” Rory is up on his tippy toes with wide eyes by the last ‘really’, emphasizing just how serious this commitment is.

“Yes, I’m sure. Really, really, really, really sure. I want to marry him _forever_.” 

“Even when he makes you mad cuz he forgets things sometimes.” Rory questions.

“Even then.” Harry looks back to Louis and smiles widely.

“Good. That’s the right answer.” Rory turns his attention to Louis next. “Papa, do you wanna marry, Daddy?”

“Yes.”

“Forever?”

“Yes.”

“Even in eight weeks?” Rory questions seriously because he has absolutely no concept of time. 

“Even then.” Louis answers though a light laugh.

“What about _six_ weeks?” Rory asks next, eyes wide.

Harry grins in teasing. “A lifetime commitment.”

“Shh Daddy!” Rory reprimands to which Harry should not even be surprised. “Papa needs to think. This is serious.”

“Hmm well, I must admit that’s quite a ways away.” Louis smiles knowingly. “But I think in six weeks I’ll still want to marry Daddy.”

“Ok, but what about when Daddy has grey hair and is ugly and old.”

Damn, this kid is really coming for blood today, for no real reason whatsoever. Harry frowns automatically, but Louis just smiles softly, giving Harry’s palms a reassuring squeeze. “Yes of course, always.”

“Ok good!” Rory nods happily, clapping his hands. “That means you are married now!”

“Yay!” Harry cheers along with him. “I always wanted to be married so that I can kiss Papa all day.”

Louis drapes his arms over Harry’s shoulders, leaning into him as they share their first ‘married’ kiss. “That’s all I ever want to do...”

“No! Yuck!” Rory shakes his head, covering his eyes “Oh, no! I forgotted the rings!”

“Oh no! Does that mean we aren’t _really_ married?!” Harry panics exaggeratedly.

“And we _kissed_!?” Louis gasps dramatically, widening his eyes at their son. “Fix it Rory! Fix it!”

“I’ll fix it! I swear!” Rory promises in all seriousness, not at all seeing it as a joke. He careful puts Harry’s ring back on and then Louis’. “Ok it’s safe now. You can kiss Papa. But not all day!”

“Why not all day? He’s mine now.” Harry boasts to the three-year-old, wrapping both of his arms around Louis tightly.

“No! He’s mine!” Rory hugs Louis’ leg protectively, wedging himself in between where Harry was. He looks up at Harry and frowns deeply in offense. “But I let you marry him. Cuz he loves you.”

“Oh, wow gee thanks so much, Ro.” Harry nods sarcastically as he looks back at his husband. “Are you hearing this, Lou?”

“I am, yeah.” Louis laughs fondly, ruffling Rory’s wild curls with his free hand. “I told you, that’s my baby.”

“Daddy! Now kiss Papa again please!” Rory insists as he stands in between their legs. “So you can be really married!”

But instead of kissing each other, Harry and Louis lean down and pick up their son from between their legs, pressing kisses to both sides of his soft cheeks. 

“Thank you for marrying us, sweet boy.” Louis whispers to him.

“It was even better than the first time.”

“Yes. You are welcome. I told you I gotta be there.” Rory says knowingly. “It’s not right if I’m not there.”

“Nothing is right if you aren’t there.” Harry agrees wholeheartedly.

“You make everything better Rory. Everything.”


End file.
